The Living Centrifuge

How's this for a rejection letter? This is from the people for whom I auditioned on Friday:

Dear Matthew,

What a pleasure meeting you on Friday. You have an immense talent and you are a joy to watch.
We would like to offer you the role. But regretfully we cannot accommodate your schedule conflicts.
Perhaps on another Out of the Box Production!
Please stay in touch.

Sincerely,

Pretty good, eh? I don't mind it when people say I have an immense talent. Because you know. I'm just beginning to remember that I do. It's the sort of thing one forgets when one goes to school - whether it's York or elsewhere. This audition felt like the auditions I used to have before I went to York. The audition I had at York, that got me directly into the acting stream.

I also had a really excellent conversation with a woman at Restoration Hardware, of all places. She came in, and because I had a spruce lap duvet (yes folks, a spruce lap duvet - the height of gluttonous North American consumption) over my shoulder, she told me that I looked like a Buddhist monk. It might also have had something to do with my shaved head. I said I should wear the saffron one. The we laughed at the picture of a Buddhist monk selling Restoration Hardware products, and she said maybe I should be wearing the spruce lap duvet, because it gave the impression that I was not sure which way I was going, but was on the right path.

Hello.

I told her that that was perfect, because it was true of me, and then we started talking about what extraordinary creatures humans are and that we don't even begin to get an inkling of that until we are in crisis, and we have to work just to survive. Then we parted ways. It was really excellent.

My best friend sent me a message today that I might have to save forever. Her Sagittarian impulse toward action makes me smile generally anyway, but now that it's directed toward me, only more so. There's nothing to do, rh. We'll just do all of the things you said in your e-mail (except Christmas. I'm eating excellent Czech food on Christmas at my brother in law's house, which is not in King City). Other than that I think I just need to mourn the fact that I placed my love yet again in someone who didn't know what to do with it.