The Living Centrifuge

I was thinking, through all this pain, and basic inability to get through a day without crying (I cried at work today - no one saw), about the fact that one day when we were together, and Ben told me that he was falling for me, he mentioned that he hadn't felt a connection with anyone for a very long time. Maybe I was a gift to him. Maybe I was the message that someone could love him. That he coud be connected to someone. That he is able to be connected. And now maybe this fellow that he's connected with - maybe they'll have a beautiful life together, and I wouldn't begrudge that of anyone. It's what I want - I understand the pursuit of it. I'm in pain. Horrid pain. But it helps someone else and that's a good thing. Good in the Platonic, Aristotelian, Neo-Platonic, and Christian sense of the word. Which is the best type of good.