Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Yet Again
Yet again, I am unable to sleep from pain and stress. I'm having a very hard time being this injured. I can hardly walk again. After the weekend, I was feeling good, but after today, I can hardly walk again. I can hardly walk.
I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk.
A fellow dancer suggested that considering this injury, I have different things to work on than being virtuosic. The premise of this statement was that dance is not about virtuosity, it's about expression. "I think you have experience being virtuosic, and so this is an opportunity to work on something other than virtuosity". It's a good outlook, but difficult to accept, considering I moved across the continent to work with these people. I wish I was a robot. I get all whiny like this. Something challenging happens, and I don't know how to feel like the world is not ending.
There are things to work on other than virtuosity. Specificity of image work (I've always had trouble with that). "Always look on the bright side of life". I need to work on that one.
When is not-dance dance? All the time! Everything is dance.
And I think my boyfriend is preparing to leave me. He's very indifferent lately (on msn and the phone, but still). This same fellow dancer is having boy problems too, and she is trying to release her attachment to him and the situation, and I said to her that letting go might be difficult, but that's the point. The challenge is to let go when you are actually attached to the thing you have to release. That is, let go, even if you love him completely. She gently reminded me of this in regards to Ben today:
"A very wise friend recently told me....."
Well Ronya, your friend is an asshole.
Your friend talks a good game, but when it comes down to it, he's just full of bullshit.
I can hardly walk.
I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk. I can hardly walk.
A fellow dancer suggested that considering this injury, I have different things to work on than being virtuosic. The premise of this statement was that dance is not about virtuosity, it's about expression. "I think you have experience being virtuosic, and so this is an opportunity to work on something other than virtuosity". It's a good outlook, but difficult to accept, considering I moved across the continent to work with these people. I wish I was a robot. I get all whiny like this. Something challenging happens, and I don't know how to feel like the world is not ending.
There are things to work on other than virtuosity. Specificity of image work (I've always had trouble with that). "Always look on the bright side of life". I need to work on that one.
When is not-dance dance? All the time! Everything is dance.
And I think my boyfriend is preparing to leave me. He's very indifferent lately (on msn and the phone, but still). This same fellow dancer is having boy problems too, and she is trying to release her attachment to him and the situation, and I said to her that letting go might be difficult, but that's the point. The challenge is to let go when you are actually attached to the thing you have to release. That is, let go, even if you love him completely. She gently reminded me of this in regards to Ben today:
"A very wise friend recently told me....."
Well Ronya, your friend is an asshole.
Your friend talks a good game, but when it comes down to it, he's just full of bullshit.
I can hardly walk.
// posted by MSR @ 3:56 AM 
