The Living Centrifuge

So, ladies and gentlemen, on the seventh day, I heard from Ben. It's sign that it would be on a biblical number. And of course, it becomes complicated that he should allay my anger at this point. In a way, it would be easier if he just made me angry and broke up with me, and that was the end of that. However, we had a single conversation that was more like two conversations that were terribly one sided. I was saying things like "seven days without a conversation with you is too long a time", and he was replying with things like "withdrawal?" I was saying things like "send me stupid notes about how your day went", and he was replying with things like "e-mail and me are not friends, but I'll try". No apologies, no anything. How again did he allay my anger? Maybe just the act of talking with him. The fact that he sort of agreed to send notes. The fact that he came back online after going away. The fact that he contacted me. These are kind of flimsy. But I guess what it comes down to is I have to go back in December, and suss out the situation in person, because these communication devices don't really communicate anything at all.

Farting is funny.

I had burgers with Ronya and Holly today, and we just laughed a LOT. It was very good.

I kissed the Persian last night. He's very good. We spent the whole evening with held hands, and parted with many last kisses. I spoke with him today. He's beautiful and flirty and smart and nice, and expressive. This makes the Ben situation more complicated.

More Merton quotations:

"Who can fall through the center of himself into that nothingness and not be appalled?"

"Instead of pushing him [the other] down, trying to climb out by using his head as a steppingstone for ourselves, we help ourselves to rise by helping him to rise. For when we extend our hand to the enemy who is sinking in the abyss, God reaches out to both of us, for it is he first of all who extends our hand to the enemy."