The Living Centrifuge

As I am embarking on what I am considering a serious relationship, I can't help but compare this gentleman friend to my last serious gentleman friend (in fact, my only other actually serious gentleman friend). There is a series of similarities and differences that are interesting to elucidate, since the similarities especially might arrest me from seeing the present gentleman friend on his own merits - although I doubt it because he's breathtaking. In no particular order, these are:

First criterion: The First Date:

With the ex (let's call him X - even though "X" cannot possibly convey the patient condescension with which I utter his actual name), the first date started off a little rough. We went to Kelsey's (Oh Keele and Steeles, how do I love thee?), had some mediocre food, and the obligatory first date silences, then went back to the university, where I was reading a part in a play of his for a new play festival. After the festival was over, we hung around in the room where the presentation had taken place, which had sofas and the like, sitting together, me leaning on his chest, which was very nice, and being excited about being this close to someone who thought I was attractive. Then we walked around the campus, stopping on several chairs and sofas along the way. Then he drove me to the suburbs where I lived at the time, and we sat in his car, being thoroughly G-rated and sweet for about an hour, which was wonderful, and by the end of the evening, he was my boyfriend.

With the new fellow (let's call him B for "Beautiful"), it was a blind date, where we were to meet at College and Bathurst, and then we walked down to a fantastic little Italian bistro and ate tartuffo and had espresso, and chatted about our families and food, and the attraction was mutual. We decided to walk and ended up wandering about the whole city for three and a half hours, talking about dogs and our families and what we want out of life and the beautiful streets on either side of Trinity-Bellwoods park, and more about our families, and walked through Kensington market, and basically became more and more attracted to one another and then went back to his place for me to meet his cats (EUPHEMISM, EUPHEMISM!) where I had the most mind blowing sex of my entire life (again, not that I'm that experienced, but it was freaking fantastic), and we very enthusiastically decided that we were going to see one another again.

Second Criterion: Intimacy

With X, we were both virgins, basically. Sort of. Depending on what we are terming virginity. Well, in the strictest sense of the word, we were both virgins. It was therefore very enthusiastic (read: fast. Read: disappointing except for the fact that I loved him).

With B, as already mentioned, mind-blowing. And consistently so. I'm very comfortable, which is unheard of for me.

Third Criterion: Aesthetics

X is sort of a short, black Irish thing. Very attractive, very John Cusack kind of a look. Very meat and potatoes, which is sort of my thing.

B is also a short black-haired sort of a thing. Very attractive. His lips are basically irresistable, and his face shape and eyes and everything is pretty much unbearably beautiful. French. Beautiful accent. All irresistable all the time.

Fourth Criterion: Health

X has a series of allergies that made it difficult to cook for him, or dress in clothing. Allergies to wool, carrots, bananas, alfalfa, cats, dogs, and they were all life or death. Or else he was a pussy.

B has a series of allergies that are moderate, and don't affect me at all. Chocolate, milk, and something else I can't remember right now. But all are of the "I'll pay for it if I have these" order, and not the "MY THROAT WILL CLOSE UP AND I'LL DIE A DEATH OF UNSPEAKABLE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" order.

Fifth Criterion: Style

X's personal style was not fantastic, but I was okay being the stylish one.

B's personal style is comparable to my own, which has relaxed considerably in the time since I was seeing X.

Sixth Criterion: Likes

Both X and B are sci-fi geeks, which suits me just fine.

Seventh Criterion: Truth

X was in the closet with his parents, with no possiblity of reprieve (presumably, this is still the case). He is also bisexual, so the threat of a white picket fence lifestyle for the sake of easily pleasing his parents (whom he was obsessed with pleasing, by the way) was constantly around the corner.

B is also in the closet with his parents. This is a major sticking issue. However, I think he will eventually tell them. He realises it's something he will eventually have to do. They know, he knows they know, it's more a matter of bringing it out in the open. Still a contentious issue, but at least it's under review.

Eighth Criterion: Magnanimity

X was (is) also a performer, and was professionally jealous, because I'm more successful, and less helpless about shaping my career than he is. He would put down my training at any possible opportunity. He was also personally jealous, becoming sullen and anti-social around my friends, who were all "stupid", apparently. We were in a relationship that was almost immediately serious, and he always managed to avoid meeting my father and his wife - the two most important people in my life, at this point.

B has met my best friends, making sure to impress them (I've done the same with his friends). The friends who have met him have been very positive. They like him, because he's likeable. When telling him about a man who hit on me, his response was "I don't blame him!" 5 points to B. Also, there is no professional jealousy, since he works in a totally different field. In fact, when writing with my best friend yesterday, he called me and I said I was going to continue writing for a little while. He told me to "go be creative, and give me a call when you're done." Nice to have that sort of support.

Ninth Criterion: Comfort

It was always difficult to sleep in the same bed with X
I've almost immediately been able to fall asleep, even in a double bed, with B.

Tenth Criterion: Zsa Zsa Zoo

Sex with X became less and less interesting until we broke up, when it became a little more exciting
Sex with B becomes more and more interesting every time.

Eleventh Criterion: Ability to Maintain Calm in the Face of Possibly Stressful Situations

X was all about drama. Everything was a huge deal. He went on tour, and it was all about having people leave him every time he goes away. Cue Russian chest-pounding, moaning horror.
B is anti-drama. So, when I go across the country, he's going to wait for me, and keeps saying, when I mention how difficult this is going to be, that "eight months is really not that long". It makes me believe that the time period is totally manageable.

Voila. That's all I can think of right now. I like B